Body Speak in the Boardroom: How to Win Without Words

Make no mistake, the boardroom is a battlefield where wars are won or lost. And often, it's not what you say but the way you say it that counts. In the second article of our three part series, Joy Aimée discusses the body language of the corporate jungle and shows you how to be King (or Queen) of yours.

It is a war and you have to win. You are in the last round of negotiations with that prospective client and your hard work is about to be rewarded. At every face-to-face meeting you have remembered to use open body language and once you even tried some mirroring, with some success. Finally, you are a heartbeat away from him signing on the dotted line.

Just when you think you have it in the bag, he sends you an email detailing 'some concerns.' The 'concerns' are actually a dozen tough questions about your business systems and staff ratios that you thought you had already covered. Why is he bringing this up again? And why now? How can you convince him once and for all that your company can handle his work?

This potential account represents your business's entrée into the big time. Not only is it worth a lot of money, this very prestigious client can also bring other work your way. You want it so much you can taste it. And therein lies the problem.

Desire, Not Need.
Chances are, if you can taste blood so can he. And he won't like the idea of becoming your prey. There is a fine line to be walked here. Of course you must want to do the deal. If you don't, your client will pick up your ambivalence. However, you must desire it rather than need it. Desire is positive, neediness is negative. Desire it, be hungry for it, do everything you need to get it and walk into that boardroom knowing you are in a very strong position to crunch the deal. That confident mindset is absolutely crucial for your body language. If you want to act like a winner you have to think like one.

Strategic Planning
But right now his email has rattled you. That's because it was meant to. Here is a man who understands the Rules of the Jungle as they apply to negotiation. In sending that email he has done two things:

1. Reasserted his power.
2. Put you in defensive mode.

It is up to you to redress the power imbalance. Before you make ANY response you must take time to think through your own strategy. When you are completely comfortable with the next step, then you can reply. Never make contact while you are still feeling defensive. If you do, the client will always have the upper hand in your relationship and will not respect you very much as a result.

Win-win
What you want to create here is a win-win. You want to do the deal. He wants to do the deal too but he needs to feel comfortable with you. That's why he is testing you one more time. Just to make absolutely sure he is doing the right thing. That email is a challenge and you must meet it by showing you do not buckle under pressure.

Set the Stage
When you are ready, arrange a meeting. Tell the client that his concerns will be fully addressed when you get together. Make sure the meeting is at your office. Use the fact that he can check out your operation if he comes to you to ensure his agreement over venue.

As much as possible clear your diary for the day of the meeting, allowing plenty of time before and after so you will not feel rushed or pressured. Once the meeting is confirmed, it is time to prepare.

The first thing to check is that your boardroom or meeting room is the perfect setting. If you do not already have a conference table, get one. You may think that a conference table is just a table but, in fact, it is a crucial prop. The Nonverbal Dictionary defines a conference table as,
"A flat, smooth piece of furniture designed as a stage to dramatize face-to-face meetings … a horizontal flatland or territory, in which to send defensive and offensive messages with the eyes, face, hands and shoulders." 1.

Your conference table is actually your battlefield. Oval is the ideal shape and depending on the size of your organization and how often you use it, it should comfortably accommodate 8 - 12 people. The conference table is a great equalizer because torso height varies less than standing height. In other words, once people are seated around it they are more or less of the same stature. Thus, the table is a vital tactic in your strategy of redressing the power imbalance with your client.

Time to Role Play
Ideally, the next step in your preparation is to role-play the meeting with a trusted friend or colleague. Make a videotape so you can review your performance. Do this as many times as necessary until you feel you have mastered your body language. Treat each practice opportunity seriously. Remember, you only have one chance to do the deal with this important client. Dress in the actual clothes you intend to wear for the meeting and simulate every aspect as closely as possible.

Practice will help you refine your body language to a level of Unconscious Competence, meaning your gestures will become so intuitive you won't need to think about them.

Boardroom Body Speak
Your goal for this meeting is to be on an equal footing with your prospective client. That means reclaiming the ground that was lost when he sent you the email. In other situations, for instance, negotiating the sale of your business or meeting with a competitor, your goal might be to dominate. In each case, for your body language to be effective, it must support your intention.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Please be Seated
The boardroom table might be oval or even round but that does not mean that all the seats around it have equal status. 'Leadership' or dominant seats are the central seating positions and the very best is the one which allows you to sit with your back to the wall, facing everyone. Never sit in the seat directly in front of the doorway as people entering the room will claim the attention of all other participants and, if you are speaking at this time, your words will be lost.

Choose your seat before the meeting (yes, it is reminiscent of school days and 'bags I sit here!') and if you really want to control proceedings, then "spread your notebooks, pens, manuals and anything else you brought along over as broad an area as possible … this will give you further claim to the territory." 2.

Once you have done the 'meet and greet' in reception, play the role of host (which is a dominant role as it is your territory) until you are both seated in the boardroom. Hold the door open and allow your client to enter the room first. Ask if he would like refreshments. Jugs of water should be on the table already. Sit down first and then invite your client to do so. If you have a staff member, for instance your personal assistant, sitting in on the meeting, have them sit beside you and to your left. Their chair should be pushed back so they do not obstruct or restrict your movements.

Driver's Seat
You are now in the driver's seat. And, just as in driving, your hands and arms become very important. As you are welcoming your client, push the sleeves of your jacket up a little. This indicates you are ready to get down to business. Make sure you wear some discreet jewellery, a wristwatch, cufflinks or a single bracelet, as it will draw attention to your gestures. Your movements should be fluid and add emphasis to your words.

Remember, that at the conference table everything happens at close quarters and, therefore, small details of appearance and gesture are magnified in importance. Your grooming must be impeccable, otherwise your client might be distracted by the spinach caught in your teeth from lunch or the fact that one of your shirt buttons is not done up.

Conducting the Meeting
You have already taken the lead and now you must consolidate your position. Do most of the talking. To make a key point, lean forward across the table and use palm down gestures. Leaning backwards and away from the table and using palm up gestures indicates submissiveness.

Make regular eye contact but do not hold the contact for so long it becomes aggressive or threatening. When you are not looking him directly in the eye, look at the space between his eyebrows or just above his head. Do not look at his hands when he speaks. In fact, do not lower your eyes past his tie and collar.

Using Your Voice
Your voice is much more than sounds producing words. It is a body language tool that is most effective in conveying messages when its potential is harnessed. Pitch your volume so your voice is clear and easy to hear but not loud. If you want the client to listen very carefully to a point you are making, deliberately drop your voice so he has to strain a little to hear you. Vary your pitch so you never sound monotonous.

Avoid hesitations or 'ums' by pausing to think about what you want to say before you speak. This pausing also forces others to pay attention and adds weight to your words when you finally do speak.

Agreement
To show empathy and agreement with your client when he is speaking, use open body language. Smile as appropriate, nod your acceptance, murmur "mmm" occasionally, tilt your body towards him and rest your hands, palm down, on the table in front of you.

Disagreement
It's crunch time. Your client wants you to reduce your price. You are prepared to negotiate but not go as low as he is demanding. It is time to use your secret weapon: the slightly lowered eyebrows technique. Not quite a frown or a scowl, lowering your eyebrows indicates disagreement but, if done properly, is not hostile. This will hopefully be enough to subtly warn him he has gone too far and that he should do the deal at a slightly higher rate.

 
A firm handshake is the best indicator that the deal is done. In most societies the offering and accepting of hands in a clasp means that agreement has been reached and a bond formed.

Congratulations!

Footnotes
1. The Nonverbal Dictionary, David B. Givens, Center for Nonverbal Studies
2. The Professional Image, Susan Bixler